As most of you probably know, I have a bit of an unhealthy obsession with pirates. Maybe you’ve realized this because I’ve dressed as a pirate for Halloween almost every year since I was 18. Or perhaps you’ve figured it out because my facebook’s language function is set to pirate and if you use facebook on my computer, it will redirect you to “Ye Olde Facebook” and ask for your secret code instead of a login. Or maybe you’ve noticed the remarkable number of “yars” and “arrrgs” in my daily speech. Or there’s a chance that you’re a ninja and you’ve sensed a strange, inexplicable rivalry from me.
Regardless, I like pirates.
So you might imagine my secret glee when, back in September when we first entered Indonesia, Boyscout sat us all down for a serious discussion of what we should do if we were boarded by pirates. Now, don’t get me wrong, I do not wantto get boarded, but the idea amuses me greatly. I know just as well as you do that modern day pirates do not run around with eye patches and cutlasses, but even so… pirates!
Since entering Southeast Asian waters, we’ve been rather careful. We watch approaching fishing boats with trepidation and keep pirate watches on throughout the night in unfamiliar ports. So far, we’ve been extremely well received and have not had any trouble, so the idea of pirates still tickles me with glee. To be honest, I’m not sure I’d be any match for the pirates if they did decide to board our boat, but the idea is to be awake so if someone approaches, we can all leap on deck and look fierce. I fear if we ever do get attacked, we will be too sleepy to do anything useful, but so far, so good.
If that hasn’t given me enough pirate fun, our recent wanderings through Malaysia and Singapore have been even more pirate-centric. As it turns out, the Straits of Malacca, which is the body of water that runs between Malaysia and Indonesia, is a historical pirate paradise. I can’t believe someone hasn’t capitalized on this yet. There definitely needs to be a Pirates of the Straits of Malacca. Hmm. Well, that’s a bit too wordy. Maybe Pirates of Malacca. Or Pirates of Malaysia. Or Pirates of Malaya (as the peninsular region used to be known back in ye olde days). The reason this used to be a massively pirated area is because it’s really the only reasonable shipping channel in the area. Going around Sumatra takes way too long and so this becomes a bit of a bottleneck for boats going between the East and the West. Thus, the historic ports of Melaka and Singapore are absolute treasure troves of pirate history.
About two weeks ago, I traveled over to Melaka and, when I wasn’t feasting on chicken rice balls and visiting Buddhist temples, I jumped into the historical attractions wholeheartedly. In a haze of pirate inspired excitement, I ran around the historic sections of Melaka, standing atop battlements that used to fend off pirates during the Portuguese and Dutch colonial eras and pretending to fire canons at marauding vessels. It was so much fun. I even went on a search for a “Pirate Park”, but the map made it sound much more exciting than it actually was. The day-long search was concluded with the finding of an anticlimactic tiny theme park with a pirate ship ride, but on the way (and the following day) I found buildings painted with pirate themed murals, a huge model tall ship, the ruins of a Dutch church on a hill and, at the base, an old fort used by the Portuguese for fending off said pirates. Adub, who was my travel companion in Melaka, dealt with quite a few “yars!” and “avast me scurvy curs!” and even threw in a few of his own “yarbedadars”. I may actually have jumped up and down in glee atop the battlements where model canons pointed at the innocent river cruisers.
However, I do take this seriously when it comes to modern day pirates. One night on our crossing to Singapore, we were forced by the strong current to anchor for the night off a tiny island known as Bintan. This island, once the refuge of the ousted Malay Sultan during the colonial eras, has long been a pirate hotbed. As we pulled in and dropped anchor, Boyscout casually mentioned that the last pirate activity had been 8 days previously. 8 days. I blinked, hoping he was joking, but he was not. He then wondered aloud if we should set a pirate watch. Kitten and I demanded that we do so. Even though we were not a well stocked cargo ship, I saw no reason to give the locals any ideas and did my best to look extraordinarily menacing during my two hour anchor watch.
So, though I haven’t seen any pirates, I’ve still gotten in quite a bit of pirate fun. I suppose if they actually did board us, I would stop entertaining images of being tied in group to the mast (we’d never fit, our mast is far too small), or being made to walk the plank (we’d need a plank, I suppose), but for now, I will continue with my harmless fantasies. I’ve also heard the pirates in this area are rather friendly. Since I’m getting off before we sail by Somalia, I expect all will be well. But if they do board us, don’t be surprised if the next thing you hear is that I’ve joined up. And then ye scurvy curs best beware for ye olde Kirin is a mean sea dog. Once I be sailing the seven seas then there will ne’er be a moment’s rest until all the booty and grog in the world be mine!
Yarbedadar indeed. Drink up me hearties, yo ho!
