Up until yesterday, I thought that Korea had pretty normal ice cream. The country is a bit obsessed with Baskin Robbins 31 Flavors (there are about 3 within about a 5 minute walking distance from my work), and most of the ice cream I’d seen was pretty standard. Now, I may have thought this a wee bit unusual- when Korea tries to do non-Korean food, they tend to Koreanify it (which generally means making it excessively sweet and/or spicy), but I just figured that the appeal of ice cream was universal. It took a visit from Britt (now Snarky) and her boyfriend to show me just how wrong I was.
Snarky and Boyfriend have been visiting me for about a week now and I’ve learned that I am perhaps not meant to be a tour guide. I managed to completely fail at public transportation the night I picked them up from the airport… which meant that we got dumped off on a deserted, misty beach in the middle of the night by the bus that was supposedly taking us home. I’ve taken them on a beach themed island trip that was spent almost entirely in a chilly drizzle. I failed to adequately explain aspects of the subway system which lead to them getting sent off into the mountains when they were trying to come home from Seoul- again in the middle of the night. But! I think they’re having a good time.
As it turns out, Snarky’s boyfriend’s favorite pastime in a foreign country is to try every type of snack he can find. While this has led to an unimaginable number of wrappers suddenly appearing all over my apartment, it has also led to some very entertaining food discoveries. Such as yesterday’s Haebong ice cream experience.
Now what sounds better than a waffle cone with ice cream? How about a waffle (just skip the cone aspect) with two scoops of ice cream, fruit flavored sauce and whipped cream? Sounds pretty good, right? Perhaps a little decadent, but they’re on vacation and I’m on… er… special Kirin time (well, I don’t always get visitors, so I figure I’ve got some leeway, right?). So we decided to give it a try. Plus, the décor of the restaurant was quite a bold statement- bright, bright, BRIGHT pinks, blues and yellows screaming all over the chairs and tables, with a mascot of a funny little wannabe gangster punk looking drugged out on two scoops of ice cream.
Unfortunately, as we discovered at the counter, none of the ice cream flavors were in English. Instead, they all had absurd looking pictures of the flavors that they represented. Snarky, her Boyfriend, and I were fascinated by the black ice cream with the picture of what looked like powdered coal with a smiley face. With elaborate sign language we managed to obtain a sample of this mysterious flavor.
OMG. Our first idea was “Seaweed????? WTF??” and then we realized it was sesame. Yes. Sesame flavored ice cream. And I don’t just mean a hint of sesame. As Snarky put it, it was like they took a bowl of ground sesame seeds, added milk and sugar and froze it.
That was rather ghastly. As was the cheese flavored ice cream. The cactus flavor was… interesting, and the coffee flavor was stronger than a real cup of coffee. When Haebong makes ice cream, they don’t mess around. They take flavors to a whole new extreme. And in case you were wondering, green tea and waffle are not a good combination.
Thursday, May 27, 2010
Saturday, May 15, 2010
Big Brother is watching
Usually when people start hearing disembodied voices, they begin to become a little concerned. While this may have been true of me in the past, it is no longer. As long as said disembodied voices are in Korean, I assume that all is well. I simply roll over in my bed and mutter irritably "I'm going to write a blog about you" before going back to sleep.
Or maybe I'm being warned about something terribly important and I will never know until it is too late because I have failed to master the Korean language in two and a half months.
...
When I first heard disembodied voices in Korean in my apartment, making something that sounded like an important announcement, I thought that I was going mad. Then I decided it must be a noise from the street. But no. Desert Boy (who lives in the same apartment complex) called me moments afterward to ask if I too had heard the voice.
Feeling more than slightly alarmed at proving the disembodied voice to be real (Desert Boy was not just playing an elaborate prank on me), I set out on a search for the source of the voice. This was a very short quest, as I looked at my ceiling and discovered a speaker built in next to the light.
I have no idea why these announcements happen, what they are about and why there is a speaker in my apartment that allows someone to randomly broadcast into my private living space. I am disturbed. And, particularly on this Saturday morning around 9AM, rather annoyed. And perhaps a little amused as well.
Now I can only hope that there are no cameras...
Or maybe I'm being warned about something terribly important and I will never know until it is too late because I have failed to master the Korean language in two and a half months.
...
When I first heard disembodied voices in Korean in my apartment, making something that sounded like an important announcement, I thought that I was going mad. Then I decided it must be a noise from the street. But no. Desert Boy (who lives in the same apartment complex) called me moments afterward to ask if I too had heard the voice.
Feeling more than slightly alarmed at proving the disembodied voice to be real (Desert Boy was not just playing an elaborate prank on me), I set out on a search for the source of the voice. This was a very short quest, as I looked at my ceiling and discovered a speaker built in next to the light.
I have no idea why these announcements happen, what they are about and why there is a speaker in my apartment that allows someone to randomly broadcast into my private living space. I am disturbed. And, particularly on this Saturday morning around 9AM, rather annoyed. And perhaps a little amused as well.
Now I can only hope that there are no cameras...
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
Yoga Quest
So, with two months under my belt and the vocabulary of a one year old with a bad accent I recently decided that it was time to venture forth and go where no one has dared go before. Yoga class.
Now, with all things in Korea, this is easier said than done. I first got the idea from a Korean coworker who was doing something called "hot yoga" in a nearby gym. While this sounded like utter madness to me at first (hot yoga takes place in a sauna at about 88 degrees), as the days remained cold, I decided to give it a shot. It seemed pretty easy to find- she said that the gym was right across the street. However, if you think this is easy, you are perhaps unaware or forgetting (as I did) that Korea exists essentially in vertical space, not horizontal. So across the street left me with three corners to choose from, each with a ten or more story building packed with at least ten retail options per floor.
After about a week, I managed to locate the place, but then shied away after the $300 for 3 months price tag was revealed. The quest continued. Now, with the hot yoga idea lodged in my brain, I resorted to taking pictures of hot yoga advertisements and pulling tabs off flyers. These attempts led me to all Korean websites (again, not terribly helpful) and got me phone numbers with confused Koreans on the other end of the line, not understanding a word of English that I desperately babbled at them. Psh. Story of my life.
I did eventually manage to navigate my way around one of the Korean websites and was able to (sort of) figure out the address of one of these yoga places. This is actually one of the lovely things about being able to read Korean- it's a really easy alphabet to learn and then there are all sorts of words that are actually English ones written in Korean. Thus, reading the address led me to discover that there was a yoga studio in the Mega Plus Building near my workplace. The Korean literally read Mega Plusu Building.
Again, disappointment! I found my way in, but the price tag was even higher ($400 for 3 months). I don't even know if I like yoga, let alone in a sauna! I was feeling pretty sure yoga studios could be cheaper than this, so I continued on, somewhat disheartened.
Then a few days later, wonder of wonders, I found a studio in the same building that I work in, only a floor above. A dream come true! I wandered in and was immediately offered jasmine tea. Then the woman there proceeded to very earnestly explain to me in Korean what they did at the studio. She was aware of my lack of language skills, so many of her explanations were accompanied by sign language and acting. It was like a very elaborate game of charades, but even if I said the right answer, neither of us knew. After about 30 minutes and a drum performance by the other woman in the studio, they called another woman who worked there that spoke fluent English. We set an appointment for the next day.
I went in feeling very hopeful. The atmosphere was peaceful, the women were nice and it was so close! What could be wrong with it?
Well... I've always been one to respect mysticism from a distance, but as soon as the woman started talking about my fire energy and my water energy and how I had blockages in my heart, head and intestines that needed to be cleared, I began to have misgivings. According to her, people are supposed to have water in their head, and fire in their intestines, but most people (obviously including myself, otherwise, why would I need the studio?) had their fire energy in their head and their water energy in their intestines. She was very disappointed to hear that I did not have a stomachache or a headache, let alone severe migraines or gastrointestinal problems.
Then it got kinda weird. She asked if I had time for her to clear the blockages and when I said that I was free for another 30 minutes, she led me into a small room with a mat. There she proceeded to test my flexibility and my balance. She seemed also disappointed by the fact that I could stand on one foot for ten seconds, but was pleased when I fell over while trying to balance with my eyes closed. This was because I lacked internal focus (duh). (btw, you should try balancing on one foot with your eyes closed- it's very hard). Apparently my heart had blockages, because when she pressed hard on my sternum, it hurt. And then she proceeded to massage my intestines for 10 minutes.
There's really no way I can explain that.
Obviously, I also had blockages there, because when she shoved her palm into my gut, it was painful. But she assured me that after she used her healing energy, my stomach's fire energy would be restored.
I do not recommend having your intestines massaged. It is simultaneously painful, ticklish and awkward. After 10 minutes, my stomach certainly was feeling much warmer, which was proof of my spiritual recalibration.
And then at the end, the price tag again. I could have all this (which included three weekly one hour sessions with drumming, dancing, singing and some yoga), for... $300 for 3 months. WTF mate??? Oh yes, and I also was told that there were three different plans I could buy. A three month membership would allow me to pour out the mud that was in my body, a six month plan would then wash away the remains of the mud and a year plan would allow me to fill my body with clean water.
...
I have still not joined a yoga studio, though there is yet another that I am planning on checking out. Wish me luck...
Now, with all things in Korea, this is easier said than done. I first got the idea from a Korean coworker who was doing something called "hot yoga" in a nearby gym. While this sounded like utter madness to me at first (hot yoga takes place in a sauna at about 88 degrees), as the days remained cold, I decided to give it a shot. It seemed pretty easy to find- she said that the gym was right across the street. However, if you think this is easy, you are perhaps unaware or forgetting (as I did) that Korea exists essentially in vertical space, not horizontal. So across the street left me with three corners to choose from, each with a ten or more story building packed with at least ten retail options per floor.
After about a week, I managed to locate the place, but then shied away after the $300 for 3 months price tag was revealed. The quest continued. Now, with the hot yoga idea lodged in my brain, I resorted to taking pictures of hot yoga advertisements and pulling tabs off flyers. These attempts led me to all Korean websites (again, not terribly helpful) and got me phone numbers with confused Koreans on the other end of the line, not understanding a word of English that I desperately babbled at them. Psh. Story of my life.
I did eventually manage to navigate my way around one of the Korean websites and was able to (sort of) figure out the address of one of these yoga places. This is actually one of the lovely things about being able to read Korean- it's a really easy alphabet to learn and then there are all sorts of words that are actually English ones written in Korean. Thus, reading the address led me to discover that there was a yoga studio in the Mega Plus Building near my workplace. The Korean literally read Mega Plusu Building.
Again, disappointment! I found my way in, but the price tag was even higher ($400 for 3 months). I don't even know if I like yoga, let alone in a sauna! I was feeling pretty sure yoga studios could be cheaper than this, so I continued on, somewhat disheartened.
Then a few days later, wonder of wonders, I found a studio in the same building that I work in, only a floor above. A dream come true! I wandered in and was immediately offered jasmine tea. Then the woman there proceeded to very earnestly explain to me in Korean what they did at the studio. She was aware of my lack of language skills, so many of her explanations were accompanied by sign language and acting. It was like a very elaborate game of charades, but even if I said the right answer, neither of us knew. After about 30 minutes and a drum performance by the other woman in the studio, they called another woman who worked there that spoke fluent English. We set an appointment for the next day.
I went in feeling very hopeful. The atmosphere was peaceful, the women were nice and it was so close! What could be wrong with it?
Well... I've always been one to respect mysticism from a distance, but as soon as the woman started talking about my fire energy and my water energy and how I had blockages in my heart, head and intestines that needed to be cleared, I began to have misgivings. According to her, people are supposed to have water in their head, and fire in their intestines, but most people (obviously including myself, otherwise, why would I need the studio?) had their fire energy in their head and their water energy in their intestines. She was very disappointed to hear that I did not have a stomachache or a headache, let alone severe migraines or gastrointestinal problems.
Then it got kinda weird. She asked if I had time for her to clear the blockages and when I said that I was free for another 30 minutes, she led me into a small room with a mat. There she proceeded to test my flexibility and my balance. She seemed also disappointed by the fact that I could stand on one foot for ten seconds, but was pleased when I fell over while trying to balance with my eyes closed. This was because I lacked internal focus (duh). (btw, you should try balancing on one foot with your eyes closed- it's very hard). Apparently my heart had blockages, because when she pressed hard on my sternum, it hurt. And then she proceeded to massage my intestines for 10 minutes.
There's really no way I can explain that.
Obviously, I also had blockages there, because when she shoved her palm into my gut, it was painful. But she assured me that after she used her healing energy, my stomach's fire energy would be restored.
I do not recommend having your intestines massaged. It is simultaneously painful, ticklish and awkward. After 10 minutes, my stomach certainly was feeling much warmer, which was proof of my spiritual recalibration.
And then at the end, the price tag again. I could have all this (which included three weekly one hour sessions with drumming, dancing, singing and some yoga), for... $300 for 3 months. WTF mate??? Oh yes, and I also was told that there were three different plans I could buy. A three month membership would allow me to pour out the mud that was in my body, a six month plan would then wash away the remains of the mud and a year plan would allow me to fill my body with clean water.
...
I have still not joined a yoga studio, though there is yet another that I am planning on checking out. Wish me luck...
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