As I sat here staring idly at my dirt caked ankles and wondered what next to write about, inspiration came to me. I’m sure you all want to hear about how we do (or don’t) keep ourselves clean on the boat! Well, reader beware, you’re in for a scare (as one of my least favorite childhood authors was fond of writing on his hundreds of horror hack novels). If you have an easily triggered gag reflex (looking meaningfully at a former roommate) or simply don’t fell like being grossed out, this post may not be for you.
In the midst of the ocean with no land as far as the eye can see, it is perhaps a bit ironic that our most precious commodity is water. Yet there it is. Our fresh water tank is reserved for drinking and cooking. For every other water related activity, such as flushing the toilet or washing dishes, salt water is pumped in from the sea. Though this practice leaves us with a slightly fishy smelling bathroom and salty dishes, we learn to live with it. I mean, we’re on a boat, after all.
But what does this mean as far as washing is concerned? How do we shower, do laundry or wash our hands? Well… by and large, we don’t.
The last time I really did laundry was in Korea. Hang on- digest that for a moment. Scary, huh? Well, I did manage to do a semblance of laundry in Bali. Kitten and I snuck into the marina showers with detergent, a big bucket and backpacks full of raunchy smelling clothes. Terrified that the staff would catch us, and short on time anyway, we scrubbed our clothes as best we could, dumping out bucketfuls of black, yes, BLACK, water, and then rushed back to the boat to hang it all out to dry. Never before have I so appreciated the invention of the washing machine. There are still dirt stains on half of the clothes I “cleaned”.
Other than that, my only other way of cleaning clothes, towels and sheets is by hanging them on the rails during rainstorms. This does, surprisingly, do a good job of taking out smells, which most of the time is all I can really ask for. On the boat we keep down our laundry needs by changing clothing as rarely as possible. The fresh shirt I put on today replaced one I’d been wearing for the last four days, and this one will probably last me that long too.
As far as showers are concerned, rainstorms and sea baths are the way to go. We do have two pump sprayers on board, but splitting four gallons between five people means that they are mostly used for rinsing off after sea baths. Sea baths entail pulling on a bathing suit, jumping off the boat (not while it is moving- that would cause great alarm), clambering back on, rubbing shampoo into your hair as best you can (salt water doesn’t lather all that well) and jumping back into the sea. If you’re looking for a pressure wash, you climb up the ratlines (which is perhaps a rather generous term for the three thin lines going up our shrouds to a height of maybe 15 to 20 feet above the water line) and take a showy dive into the ocean.
Rain showers, when we can get them, are actually quite a luxury. Regardless of how well you rinse off with the sprayer, sea baths always leave you with white flecks of salt adorning your limbs. Rain when we are anchored is actually quite a boon. As soon as the first drops hit the deck, the smelliest laundry is hauled out and pinned to the rails, the pump sprayers are set up in the best places for catching rain, and the dirty dishes are strewn out on every available surface. Then it’s bathing suits, shampoo and soap again, with the wind driven rain giving you a rather high pressure but unfortunately low water density shower.
The rest of the time, we roll about in our own filth. We sweat like pigs in the equatorial heat, get covered in salt from the sea spray, handle dirt encrusted lines, get coated in diesel when we refill our engine and pick up filth in a myriad of other ways.
The stench is a force to be reckoned with and after a crossing we are truly a sight to behold. When even the homeless citizens of a third world country look askance at the state of our clothing we feel, more than ever, like real sailors.
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