Recently I've been getting a lot of strange comments. This has led me to realize that I have much more in common with monkeys than I previously though. Like this one from my language partner- I'm sitting there, writing out the Korean letters for the phrase "I am an English Teacher" (Nanun Yongu Sonsangnim Imnida) and he reaches out a finger and pets my arm. I give him a WTF look and am like "What are you doing???" to which he responds "You have hair."
No shit Sherlock?
Now, I understand that many Asians have very little body hair. This was something my roommate teased me about a lot in college and I have simply come to accept my fate of having to shave my legs far more often then my Asian friends. But really? "You have hair"? Come on now, language partner. Also, no petting. Or else you will get language partner dumped.
However, that was not the only hair comment I got recently. Maybe I have been wearing shorter sleeves more these days? But the day after this went down with LP (language partner), I'm going around the room in one of my elementary classes, checking spelling homework when one of the kids reaches out a hand and pets my arm too. Again I give the WTF look and again I am told that I have hair. Is this LP's younger brother??? Did I spontaneously turn into a monkey overnight and not notice? Now all the kids are coming up to pet me and I'm feeling a little alarmed at the prospect of being manhandled by eight third graders. So I start calling them naked mole rats. This didn't really register for them, but I did feel better. I also used my ultimate power as a teacher to punish them for calling me a monkey. I took away their stars. Such power I have. My coworkers and I (particularly the British one who has requested the name of Bodacious Brit- I was going to go with bloodthirsty, but bodacious it is) are all in favor of harsher punishments. Soon I will take students into the corner where the camera cannot see and then I will beat them with my monkey fists.
I suppose this brings me to the adventure that I had yesterday. Feeling emboldened by my new status as a monkey, I took on a bold challenge after a terrible thing happened during the hellion class. As stated previously, I do not trust the hellions to not destroy everything in sight, so this means that I never put my basket of magical teacher stuff in their reach. (basket is not actually that exciting, but it does carry my CDs, flashcards, pens and books) So instead I put the basket up on the shelves, which are at about shoulder height for me. Unfortunately, these cabinets back up to the windows and there is a four foot deep and six inch wide gap between the backs of the cabinets and the shelves. You probably can see where this is going... but anyway, my basket tipped over and all of my pens went spilling out and fell into the abyss. I was crushed. They may just have been pens, but they were MY pens. But! I had just been informed that I was a monkey. Thus a daring plan was hatched.
This of course led to me being stuck halfway down the back of cabinet a few hours later. Yet I did recover my red pen using a particularly long scissors as a grabbing device. I had even thought ahead enough to tie the scissors to my arm so that I wouldn't lose them into the abyss too.
My coworkers thought I was just as crazy as you probably all now think I am. But I have my red pen back and have used my monkey powers for good. So the world is a better place.
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Monday, April 19, 2010
Dinosaur, dinosaur
I think it's high time for an update on the hellions...
The hellions have actually been calming down somewhat in the past few weeks. We've moved from Korean gibberish mixed with baby talk to Korean gibberish mixed with baby talk mixed with various key English words and phrases. They have learned to understand basic commands and questions and this has led me to realize that they are really quite cheeky little bastards. Pretty much any time they are tired of the lesson, one of them will suddenly start chanting "Close your books, close your books" and then they all sing the clean up song and whisk things away when I'm not looking.
I have actually grown much fonder of them and this is perhaps mostly due to the fact that they're really excited about walking places since I started a new walking regime. Teachers are supposed to have the students line up with their hands on their hips and then chant "walking, walking" while walking in a straight line to the bathroom or water dispenser. However, I have grown very tired of this, so now the hellions and I do themed walking. The absolute favorite is dinosaur walk where we all hunker down, pull out our claws and stalk from room to room, growling fiercely as we go. It's amazing. Instead of walking, I can now hunch over and prowl while muttering "rawr, rawr" with three little Korean dinosaur boys following my every move.
I'm also really excited about the current unit that the hellions are on in their dialog book (as opposed to phonics). We are learning about pets and this now allows me to cut off the bookwork and just have the children act out being the animals. Last Friday, I got tired of pointing to animals and having the kids repeat "This is a dog, This is a dog" and I simply got down on all fours and had them crawl around, barking and howling (btw, in Korea dogs say mong, mong, not woof, woof) and chanting "Dog, dog, dog" (refraining from any food comments here). We will do this now every time they learn about animals, which will happen when we get to farm and zoo animals later on in the book. It's pretty hilarious.
Time to go- I'm seeing said children in less than eight house and I've got to get some sleep. One of these days I'll stop falling asleep with my fingers poised over the keyboard. Cheers!
The hellions have actually been calming down somewhat in the past few weeks. We've moved from Korean gibberish mixed with baby talk to Korean gibberish mixed with baby talk mixed with various key English words and phrases. They have learned to understand basic commands and questions and this has led me to realize that they are really quite cheeky little bastards. Pretty much any time they are tired of the lesson, one of them will suddenly start chanting "Close your books, close your books" and then they all sing the clean up song and whisk things away when I'm not looking.
I have actually grown much fonder of them and this is perhaps mostly due to the fact that they're really excited about walking places since I started a new walking regime. Teachers are supposed to have the students line up with their hands on their hips and then chant "walking, walking" while walking in a straight line to the bathroom or water dispenser. However, I have grown very tired of this, so now the hellions and I do themed walking. The absolute favorite is dinosaur walk where we all hunker down, pull out our claws and stalk from room to room, growling fiercely as we go. It's amazing. Instead of walking, I can now hunch over and prowl while muttering "rawr, rawr" with three little Korean dinosaur boys following my every move.
I'm also really excited about the current unit that the hellions are on in their dialog book (as opposed to phonics). We are learning about pets and this now allows me to cut off the bookwork and just have the children act out being the animals. Last Friday, I got tired of pointing to animals and having the kids repeat "This is a dog, This is a dog" and I simply got down on all fours and had them crawl around, barking and howling (btw, in Korea dogs say mong, mong, not woof, woof) and chanting "Dog, dog, dog" (refraining from any food comments here). We will do this now every time they learn about animals, which will happen when we get to farm and zoo animals later on in the book. It's pretty hilarious.
Time to go- I'm seeing said children in less than eight house and I've got to get some sleep. One of these days I'll stop falling asleep with my fingers poised over the keyboard. Cheers!
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
DMZ
This weekend I traveled to one of the most dangerous places in the world.
Dun dun duuuuuunn!
I am talking, of course, about the DMZ, or the Demilitarized Zone that separates the democratic, modern and (relatively) normal country of South Korea from the freakish tyrannical communist dictatorship that is North Korea.
Perhaps a little unexpectedly, the 4km that separate South Korea from the country of starving peasants and attempted nuclear attacks is a major tourist destination. I suppose I have always known this, given what I have heard from others who have traveled to Korea, but it is rather unexpected to see a Viking themed fair ground and a bunch of pinwheels at the farthest North civilian zone in South Korea, feet away from barbed wire and camouflaged outposts. I mean, really, I don't think that camouflage will work well when there are about a thousand brightly colored pinwheels squeaking loudly in the wind behind them.
A quick history lesson for any of you who don't know about the situation between North Korea and South Korea. I assume most of you have a good understanding of this, but some of this information was new to me, so I figured I might as well share it. History buffs and disinterested or well educated folks, you can skip this paragraph.
As with many places in the world, Korea has been scarred by the Cold War. When Japan relinquished its hold on Korea at the end of WWII (not their choice, but something Koreans had been wanting for a long time), Russia and the US both tried to set up new governments in Korea. This, of course, did not work and there ended up being a communist government up in N. Kor and a democratic government in SoKor. Again, like many of the other situations from the Cold War, this ended up sparking a civil war in Korea in June of 1950 (N. Kor decided to invade). The war lasted about 2 years, screwed up a lot of families, and killed a bunch of innocent and fleeing civilians before a treaty was signed that separated N. Kor for SoKor officially and established a no-man's land between the two countries so that N. Kor wouldn't invade again. This no-man's land is called the DMZ and extends 2 km into SoKor and 2 km into N. Kor from the dividing line (the 38th parallel).
Okay, history lesson over.
As far as I was concerned, the DMZ was a very strange set of contradictions. I mean, you expect one of the most dangerous places on Earth to seem pretty dangerous... right? But really, it was mostly just a schizophrenic head trip between touristy theme park and really creepy stuff about N. Kor. Take the third infiltration tunnel for example. This is one of 4 really disturbing underground tunnels dug by N Kor back in the 70s as an intended surprise attack on Seoul. We got to go down into it and walk to the point where it entered North Korea. The tunnel is over a mile long, it starts on the N. Kor side of the DMZ and points directly at Seoul. When it was discovered N. Kor claimed that it was a mining tunnel (they painted coal on the walls to try to fool South Korea), but there is no coal in the area and everything indicates that it was an attack tunnel. The point where it enters N. Kor is cut off by barbed wire and looks very dangerous and official. However, topside there were six foot tall letters spelling out DMZ that were colored red and purple with a flower on top of the Z. There were also two very cutesy soldier statues and a propaganda/ informational IMAX-style movie that talked about the war and how now the DMZ was a nature preserve and some day the two countries would be reunited.
So yeah. Weird place.
The other cool place we got to go was to a point on the edge of the DMZ where you can look through binoculars at North Korea. Unfortunately it was rather hazy out, so we didn't see much, but it was pretty crazy to be able to see the North Korean flag flying directly across from the South Korean flag.
What I missed was the room that is split down the middle by the border where a North Korean and a South Korean soldier stand at either end and stare at each other. I will simply have to go back to see that. They apparently make the soldiers wear sunglasses because they used to get eye strain trying to stare each other down.
This would be another place I recommend going if you come to Korea, though I'm sure if you were planning on coming to Korea, you already knew this. I'm glad I went and that North Korea didn't shoot me.
Dun dun duuuuuunn!
I am talking, of course, about the DMZ, or the Demilitarized Zone that separates the democratic, modern and (relatively) normal country of South Korea from the freakish tyrannical communist dictatorship that is North Korea.
Perhaps a little unexpectedly, the 4km that separate South Korea from the country of starving peasants and attempted nuclear attacks is a major tourist destination. I suppose I have always known this, given what I have heard from others who have traveled to Korea, but it is rather unexpected to see a Viking themed fair ground and a bunch of pinwheels at the farthest North civilian zone in South Korea, feet away from barbed wire and camouflaged outposts. I mean, really, I don't think that camouflage will work well when there are about a thousand brightly colored pinwheels squeaking loudly in the wind behind them.
A quick history lesson for any of you who don't know about the situation between North Korea and South Korea. I assume most of you have a good understanding of this, but some of this information was new to me, so I figured I might as well share it. History buffs and disinterested or well educated folks, you can skip this paragraph.
As with many places in the world, Korea has been scarred by the Cold War. When Japan relinquished its hold on Korea at the end of WWII (not their choice, but something Koreans had been wanting for a long time), Russia and the US both tried to set up new governments in Korea. This, of course, did not work and there ended up being a communist government up in N. Kor and a democratic government in SoKor. Again, like many of the other situations from the Cold War, this ended up sparking a civil war in Korea in June of 1950 (N. Kor decided to invade). The war lasted about 2 years, screwed up a lot of families, and killed a bunch of innocent and fleeing civilians before a treaty was signed that separated N. Kor for SoKor officially and established a no-man's land between the two countries so that N. Kor wouldn't invade again. This no-man's land is called the DMZ and extends 2 km into SoKor and 2 km into N. Kor from the dividing line (the 38th parallel).
Okay, history lesson over.
As far as I was concerned, the DMZ was a very strange set of contradictions. I mean, you expect one of the most dangerous places on Earth to seem pretty dangerous... right? But really, it was mostly just a schizophrenic head trip between touristy theme park and really creepy stuff about N. Kor. Take the third infiltration tunnel for example. This is one of 4 really disturbing underground tunnels dug by N Kor back in the 70s as an intended surprise attack on Seoul. We got to go down into it and walk to the point where it entered North Korea. The tunnel is over a mile long, it starts on the N. Kor side of the DMZ and points directly at Seoul. When it was discovered N. Kor claimed that it was a mining tunnel (they painted coal on the walls to try to fool South Korea), but there is no coal in the area and everything indicates that it was an attack tunnel. The point where it enters N. Kor is cut off by barbed wire and looks very dangerous and official. However, topside there were six foot tall letters spelling out DMZ that were colored red and purple with a flower on top of the Z. There were also two very cutesy soldier statues and a propaganda/ informational IMAX-style movie that talked about the war and how now the DMZ was a nature preserve and some day the two countries would be reunited.
So yeah. Weird place.
The other cool place we got to go was to a point on the edge of the DMZ where you can look through binoculars at North Korea. Unfortunately it was rather hazy out, so we didn't see much, but it was pretty crazy to be able to see the North Korean flag flying directly across from the South Korean flag.
What I missed was the room that is split down the middle by the border where a North Korean and a South Korean soldier stand at either end and stare at each other. I will simply have to go back to see that. They apparently make the soldiers wear sunglasses because they used to get eye strain trying to stare each other down.
This would be another place I recommend going if you come to Korea, though I'm sure if you were planning on coming to Korea, you already knew this. I'm glad I went and that North Korea didn't shoot me.
Thursday, April 8, 2010
Tidepool Dinner
So, in my desire to document everything that I find most fascinating and worthy of sharing in this country, I feel the need to report on my dinner in this post.
Since I am in Korea, I feel that it is only prudent to try to learn the language. This way I will no longer be daunted by taxi rides and asking how much my bill costs. So, I have recently acquired a language exchange partner who has some basic fluency in English and would like to teach me Korean in exchange for me chatting with him. This all seemed well and good to me until I asked him today if he'd like to meet for dinner instead of just coffee. His response was enthusiastic and he asked if I liked seafood.
Well of course I like seafood! Who doesn't like a good Ahi steak, or some lovely salmon? I also like shrimp and a variety of other ocean-y sorts of things, so I told him I would be happy to have seafood.
However, it seems that what he had in mind wasn't so much seafood as it was tidepool soup. I guess we had stew on the rocks.
I knew I was in trouble when we walked by a tub full of sea cucumbers on our way in. I really knew I was in trouble when I lifted the lid of the boiling stew on the table and discovered a large mussel shell and a whole crab.
Now, I don't know about you, and I'm all about adventurous eating, but having the waitress come to the table and take a scissors to a large crab was certainly enough to make me feel slightly faint. By the time she'd finished cutting apart bits of sea creatures I couldn't even begin to name I realized (metaphorically speaking) I was in over my head.
It really did seem like the cook went to the tidepools, caught anything (s)he found and boiled it in a spicy soup with some bean sprouts. By the end of the meal I had discovered (and eaten) about 10 different species of crustaceans, mollusks and cephalopods. The stew included the large mussel thing (cut into a bunch of pieces by the waitresses' cruel scissors), some smaller mussels that floated around like lost eardrums, the crab, a bunch of shrimp with their heads and legs still attached, some tiny crayfish shrimp things that you had to eat with the shells still on, a whole baby octopus (also cut into pieces- I declined the head and offered it to my partner), something that may have been sea cucumber, something else that I think was squid and some unidentifiable hardish objects that popped liquid into my mouth when I bit down on them.
I did manage to eat a fair amount of it, but I think next time, I will tell my language exchange partner that I really have just been dying for coffee. Or maybe we'll just get some rice.
Since I am in Korea, I feel that it is only prudent to try to learn the language. This way I will no longer be daunted by taxi rides and asking how much my bill costs. So, I have recently acquired a language exchange partner who has some basic fluency in English and would like to teach me Korean in exchange for me chatting with him. This all seemed well and good to me until I asked him today if he'd like to meet for dinner instead of just coffee. His response was enthusiastic and he asked if I liked seafood.
Well of course I like seafood! Who doesn't like a good Ahi steak, or some lovely salmon? I also like shrimp and a variety of other ocean-y sorts of things, so I told him I would be happy to have seafood.
However, it seems that what he had in mind wasn't so much seafood as it was tidepool soup. I guess we had stew on the rocks.
I knew I was in trouble when we walked by a tub full of sea cucumbers on our way in. I really knew I was in trouble when I lifted the lid of the boiling stew on the table and discovered a large mussel shell and a whole crab.
Now, I don't know about you, and I'm all about adventurous eating, but having the waitress come to the table and take a scissors to a large crab was certainly enough to make me feel slightly faint. By the time she'd finished cutting apart bits of sea creatures I couldn't even begin to name I realized (metaphorically speaking) I was in over my head.
It really did seem like the cook went to the tidepools, caught anything (s)he found and boiled it in a spicy soup with some bean sprouts. By the end of the meal I had discovered (and eaten) about 10 different species of crustaceans, mollusks and cephalopods. The stew included the large mussel thing (cut into a bunch of pieces by the waitresses' cruel scissors), some smaller mussels that floated around like lost eardrums, the crab, a bunch of shrimp with their heads and legs still attached, some tiny crayfish shrimp things that you had to eat with the shells still on, a whole baby octopus (also cut into pieces- I declined the head and offered it to my partner), something that may have been sea cucumber, something else that I think was squid and some unidentifiable hardish objects that popped liquid into my mouth when I bit down on them.
I did manage to eat a fair amount of it, but I think next time, I will tell my language exchange partner that I really have just been dying for coffee. Or maybe we'll just get some rice.
Monday, April 5, 2010
Touring with the prince of Korea
I have made a most excellent connection. Talk about knowing the right people. Yes that's right, I spent my Sunday hanging out with none other than the prince of Korea. Oh yeah.
Now you may be wondering, "Does Korea have royalty?" or "Is Kirin on crack?" or "WTF?" but I have it from the source himself. He told me that he was the prince of Korea. And who am I to question?
The prince of Korea is an unassuming fellow, and you would never know it to look at him that he is royalty. His subjects treat him no differently when they meet him on the streets but they do give him free meals that they seem to offer when I leave for the restroom. This, of course, is his proof that he is the prince of Korea.
Prince (who, in case you are uncertain, is not actually a prince- Korea does not have royalty), is actually a friend of a friend's that has kindly offered to show me and my friends around Seoul. Thus, this was how I found myself attempting to peer into the highest men's bathroom in all of Seoul on Sunday night.
Namsan tower is definitely a tourist spot I recommend. It isn't particularly impressive architecturally, or historically, but it has an absolutely fantastic view of Seoul at night. It offers a 360 view of the city at the highest point you can get to, a chain link fence to latch a lock to with your lover (this is an extremely common dating ritual in Korea- the flip side is that when you break up, the ultimate cut is to come back to Namsan tower with a pair of bolt cutters), a laser light show on the tower, a gondola ride up the hill for the lazy and/or broken (like myself and my friends) and urinals where you can metaphorically pee on Korea (they are urinals that stand in front of floor to ceiling windows that look out over Seoul). It is sweet.
Perhaps my favorite part of this place (besides the awesome urinals), is the fact that by the chain link fence there are a bunch of benches that are tilted in such a way to force you to sit next to whomever you are on the bench with. They bend in the middle and it is pretty much impossible to sit on opposite sides without sliding into the middle in an intimate shoulder bump.
So yes, if you come visit me in Korea, we will go to Namsan tower (unless you have already been). I love having Prince show me around- it's actually kinda hard to get in the tourist stuff when I am so busy fending off 3 year olds.
In other news- I have a request. During the month of April I have been given an assignment to teach two of my elementary classes a song that they will then perform with dance moves on the 30th. I have to give my supervisor the words by the 7th (this is soon since I am posting this about 24 hours before I need to have two songs chosen- so this will only be relevant for a little while).
Both classes are advanced enough to sing "real" songs (a quote from my coworker who is an old timer- has been here 7 months). However, I can't really give them hard songs since their English isn't great. So I need some songs that are fun for 6 and 7 year olds without too many hard words but fun for me to teach.
Any suggestions? Right now I've come up with "Larger than Life" from N'Sync (which would just be hilarious) and "YMCA".
Give me ideas!
Now you may be wondering, "Does Korea have royalty?" or "Is Kirin on crack?" or "WTF?" but I have it from the source himself. He told me that he was the prince of Korea. And who am I to question?
The prince of Korea is an unassuming fellow, and you would never know it to look at him that he is royalty. His subjects treat him no differently when they meet him on the streets but they do give him free meals that they seem to offer when I leave for the restroom. This, of course, is his proof that he is the prince of Korea.
Prince (who, in case you are uncertain, is not actually a prince- Korea does not have royalty), is actually a friend of a friend's that has kindly offered to show me and my friends around Seoul. Thus, this was how I found myself attempting to peer into the highest men's bathroom in all of Seoul on Sunday night.
Namsan tower is definitely a tourist spot I recommend. It isn't particularly impressive architecturally, or historically, but it has an absolutely fantastic view of Seoul at night. It offers a 360 view of the city at the highest point you can get to, a chain link fence to latch a lock to with your lover (this is an extremely common dating ritual in Korea- the flip side is that when you break up, the ultimate cut is to come back to Namsan tower with a pair of bolt cutters), a laser light show on the tower, a gondola ride up the hill for the lazy and/or broken (like myself and my friends) and urinals where you can metaphorically pee on Korea (they are urinals that stand in front of floor to ceiling windows that look out over Seoul). It is sweet.
Perhaps my favorite part of this place (besides the awesome urinals), is the fact that by the chain link fence there are a bunch of benches that are tilted in such a way to force you to sit next to whomever you are on the bench with. They bend in the middle and it is pretty much impossible to sit on opposite sides without sliding into the middle in an intimate shoulder bump.
So yes, if you come visit me in Korea, we will go to Namsan tower (unless you have already been). I love having Prince show me around- it's actually kinda hard to get in the tourist stuff when I am so busy fending off 3 year olds.
In other news- I have a request. During the month of April I have been given an assignment to teach two of my elementary classes a song that they will then perform with dance moves on the 30th. I have to give my supervisor the words by the 7th (this is soon since I am posting this about 24 hours before I need to have two songs chosen- so this will only be relevant for a little while).
Both classes are advanced enough to sing "real" songs (a quote from my coworker who is an old timer- has been here 7 months). However, I can't really give them hard songs since their English isn't great. So I need some songs that are fun for 6 and 7 year olds without too many hard words but fun for me to teach.
Any suggestions? Right now I've come up with "Larger than Life" from N'Sync (which would just be hilarious) and "YMCA".
Give me ideas!
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