Recently I've been getting a lot of strange comments. This has led me to realize that I have much more in common with monkeys than I previously though. Like this one from my language partner- I'm sitting there, writing out the Korean letters for the phrase "I am an English Teacher" (Nanun Yongu Sonsangnim Imnida) and he reaches out a finger and pets my arm. I give him a WTF look and am like "What are you doing???" to which he responds "You have hair."
No shit Sherlock?
Now, I understand that many Asians have very little body hair. This was something my roommate teased me about a lot in college and I have simply come to accept my fate of having to shave my legs far more often then my Asian friends. But really? "You have hair"? Come on now, language partner. Also, no petting. Or else you will get language partner dumped.
However, that was not the only hair comment I got recently. Maybe I have been wearing shorter sleeves more these days? But the day after this went down with LP (language partner), I'm going around the room in one of my elementary classes, checking spelling homework when one of the kids reaches out a hand and pets my arm too. Again I give the WTF look and again I am told that I have hair. Is this LP's younger brother??? Did I spontaneously turn into a monkey overnight and not notice? Now all the kids are coming up to pet me and I'm feeling a little alarmed at the prospect of being manhandled by eight third graders. So I start calling them naked mole rats. This didn't really register for them, but I did feel better. I also used my ultimate power as a teacher to punish them for calling me a monkey. I took away their stars. Such power I have. My coworkers and I (particularly the British one who has requested the name of Bodacious Brit- I was going to go with bloodthirsty, but bodacious it is) are all in favor of harsher punishments. Soon I will take students into the corner where the camera cannot see and then I will beat them with my monkey fists.
I suppose this brings me to the adventure that I had yesterday. Feeling emboldened by my new status as a monkey, I took on a bold challenge after a terrible thing happened during the hellion class. As stated previously, I do not trust the hellions to not destroy everything in sight, so this means that I never put my basket of magical teacher stuff in their reach. (basket is not actually that exciting, but it does carry my CDs, flashcards, pens and books) So instead I put the basket up on the shelves, which are at about shoulder height for me. Unfortunately, these cabinets back up to the windows and there is a four foot deep and six inch wide gap between the backs of the cabinets and the shelves. You probably can see where this is going... but anyway, my basket tipped over and all of my pens went spilling out and fell into the abyss. I was crushed. They may just have been pens, but they were MY pens. But! I had just been informed that I was a monkey. Thus a daring plan was hatched.
This of course led to me being stuck halfway down the back of cabinet a few hours later. Yet I did recover my red pen using a particularly long scissors as a grabbing device. I had even thought ahead enough to tie the scissors to my arm so that I wouldn't lose them into the abyss too.
My coworkers thought I was just as crazy as you probably all now think I am. But I have my red pen back and have used my monkey powers for good. So the world is a better place.
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